What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 24.06.2025 07:31
I could never make a relationship work though!
But it wasn’t much.
Would this be the day?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
All the time i was locked up.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
Isaacman’s bold plan for NASA: Nuclear ships, seven-crew Dragons, accelerated Artemis - Ars Technica
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Final Fantasy 16 runs at 720p on Xbox Series X in performance mode - Video Games Chronicle
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Patch Notes: New Co-op Emotes! — Warcraft Rumble - Blizzard News
But, we were locked up after school.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Willi Castro homers twice, Royce Lewis ends skid as Twins crush Athletics - Sports Illustrated
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Columbus hoarding case sees 27 dogs rescued and recovering - WSYX
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Cannabis can pack an unexpected punch for older users, experts warn - OregonLive.com
When she asked me how she looked .
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Deion Sanders is home in Texas dealing with an unspecified health issue - NBC Sports
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Samsung may soon open One UI 8 beta program for Galaxy S22 - SamMobile
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I don,t even have a pension.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Was to survive, this bastard.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
She was in good health!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But ive been too sick for many years..
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
She found it foreign!.
Im still living with it.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
As i do to all so called friends.?
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I was very sick at this time too.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Ive learnt so much.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
She loved him until the end.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
One cannot live in the past .
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I was seconnd youngest,
Where the ultimate outsiders.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He resisted the act ,that day.
What did i know ?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I write beautiful poetry .
I have no regrets .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
My family never makes their pension either.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I think the readers, may guess!
(And it was in our own minds.)
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I couldn’t, believe it.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
He knew the spot.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
So whats the point in blame.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
Comes on , in middle age.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
Put me off passion for life!!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I said to her
My life is so biszare .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
We all went to grammer schools
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Who then, do I blame.?
Especially a lifetime of it.
I was scared of men, in general
I will be 64.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
I waited trembling.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I never cut or harmed myself..
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
She wouldn,t have been !
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
We were not on the streets..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And i lived it daily.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
It was going to be , some day.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
So, i spoilt her more .
She married twice! .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
This is soul school!.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I was 9 years of age.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Why did i forgive my father ?
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!